It would have been such a beautiful quiche *sob*!
Wow. Just had an hilarious food fail. About an hour ago I wasn’t seeing the hilarity of it so much but I’m over it, mainly thanks to a carrot cupcake.
Basically, about three hours ago, I decided to tackle my first home-made pastry. I know you can buy it pre-rolled in the shop but I had spotted a very easy looking recipe for an asparagus and tarragon tart by Nigel Slater in last Sunday’s Observer Magazine.
In the recipe he said to mix 90g of butter with 150g plain flour softly with your fingertrips. I did that and it all looked like it was going spiffingly. Then, as Nigel had advised, I added an egg yolk to the mixture followed by about a teaspoon of really cold water. I mooshed it about with my hands a bit and got really excited because it actually looked like dough! I floured up my kitchen surface and put my ball of pastry there. Then I started to roll.
So far, so good. Or so I thought.
Oh dear. It became quite clear quite soon that this was not, in fact, going to work at all. It was quite crumbly and there were cracks all over the gaffe.
So, I consulted my Cornucopia Cookbook and looked at a few websites for extra tips and decided to roll the pastry into a ball again, wrap it in clingfilm and pop it in the fridge for about 25 minutes.
All the while getting hungrier and hungrier, you understand.
I took the ball of dough out and started to roll it out again. Same problem, it was just all crumbly and rubbish. Even though I could roll it out in a nice flat shape, when I tried to pick it up to transfer it to my quiche tin it just crumbled into nothing.
So at this point, I start to get cranky due to a decided lack of delicious home-made quiche in my belly. I figured I’d add a bit more flour to the mixture. Then a bit of cold water. Then a bit more cold water. Then some more flour. And then, feck it, another egg yolk.
Then Niall intervened and told me to put. down. the. rolling. pin. and. step. away. from. the. kitchen.
He was right. So I thought, dash it all, I’ll go out and get some of that ready to roll pastry stuff. This is at about 7.15pm, nearly two hours after I’d started with the flippin’ pastry. I went to my local Centra. No pastry. I went to Tesco on Parnell Street, followed by Lidl and Aldi. No ready to roll pastry. At this point I’m nearly in tears.
I get to M & S and the lovely friendly staff do their best to help me but they’ve no ready to roll pastry. I decide to make a desparate dash to Tesco’s in Jervis, a place where I know for a FACT that they have the ready to roll pastry stuff only to find that it was CLOSED!!!!!!
It was then that I made my decision to go back to M&S and buy the delicious Mediterranean vegetable & soignon goat’s cheese quiche. As well as the carrot cupcakes. Problem solved!
Who says all ready-made meals are evil?
So, I’d really appreciate if any of you in the know can give me a hand here. I’d really like to make my own pastry so if you could tell me where I went wrong that would be swell. Perhaps you have a fail-proof recipe that will prevent me from resorting to M&S cupcakes? Please advise!
Obviously, I felt totally fine after eating this:
All 350 calories of it! So worth it. Absolutely GORGEOUS. Thanks M&S!
I’m putting up this video as it’s a total FAIL at an Italian accent. And also it’s really funny. Joe Dolce with ShaddupYaFace. Awesome.